Ending Codependency

The first step is to recognize that you do have a choice, that though it may seem like you are entangled in a web we have ways out. Today there are numerous support systems you can connect with to help you untangle from any web you might be caught in. Recognizing you have an issue of codependency in the relationship and that there is a choice, and that there are resources. Be firm in your choices and with a network of support being firm won’t be as difficult as trying to extricate yourself without it. If possible be clear that the reason for walking away is for your well being, which is not always possible. Do so calmly and refuse to dredge up the past, focus on looking forward and do not engage in screaming matches, keep your dignity.

Focus on why you are going or what needs to change, the reason it is detrimental to your wellness. Don’t empower them by focusing on them, what they do etc.. Point out that the dynamics of the relationship are not healthy and you need to take care of your well being. Set limits and keep to them, don’t cave. Set up boundaries on proper behavior etc.. and don’t cave. Determine what that relationship did provide. For those who come from certain childhood trauma that person making you the center of their world, their sole focus can feel amazing in the beginning. Maybe you have a caretaker role you feel the need to fulfill and the relationship provides you that, but is it reciprocal or are you doing all the sacrificing etc..? Maybe you have abandonment issues and you are terrified of being alone or of leaving that person, thinking it makes you a bad person. It doesn’t make you a bad person to decide to live a healthy life not only physically, but also emotionally and psychologically. Keep a distance, process and heal from your emotions. It is important to be healed in one’s own emotions etc…or the cycle of codependent relationships will be repeated.

Codependency can be ended but I would say that a support system, finding a support system for doing so is wise. Trying to cut ties to what is toxic totally on one’s own is sometimes what seems an impossible task. It can seem overwhelming and discouraging on many levels, so finding a good support group online and offline to have resources of people etc… to break free of the web can make a difference. Staying in a codependent relationship is detrimental to you and also to the person who is keeping you bound.

Later this year the plan is for KANY Wellness to offer products, including courses that will help you break free to a better life, and in 2024 the plan is to create an online group where the KANY Wellness community can support each other on the journey to holistic wellness