Lifestyle, Mental Health, Personal Development

Inter or Co PII

Let’s look once again at the difference between and inter and co dependent relationship, what makes the difference.

In an interdependent relationship you always know you have value in your own standing, as well as in the eyes of the other person, even if you have disagreements. You both have the maturity to agree to disagree. In a codependent relationship you only feel value when the other person affirms you and when you disagree there is often a put down of the other, so the person is made to feel that the only value they have is from that relationship or that person “loving them”. In an interdependent relation you are secure in who you are, in the dynamics of the relationship etc..that you can do stuff individually, have your own individual career goals, still be there for each other, make time for each other. In a codependent relationship you are in constant fear of criticism, of rejection and abandonment. That is not healthy at all. In an interdependent relationship you can say no, can disagree and the love, respect etc… is still there. In a codependent one you are afraid to disagree, can’t have a healthy exchange of ideas, feelings, too much insecurity on one or both parts. In a healthy interdependent relationship you can have honesty, be open about stuff, admit when you are wrong, you both can. In a codependent relationship there isn’t enough security etc… to feel safe and comfortable enough to do so. There ends up being lying, dishonesty, not good relationship habits.

Interdependence is healthy, you nurture each other etc.., but in a codependent you don’t, and you may even encourage each other’s destructive side, shadow side. Can you move from codependent to interdependent? Yes, but first both have to recognize that it is codependent and unhealthy, be willing to work as a team to change the patterns. That takes time, patience, commitment, self respect and respect for the relationship. Hope we all can move from any codependent relationship to interdependent ones, healthy ones.


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