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Coping with Grief PI

There are different ways one can cope with grief and I am going to touch on them. Remember that ways of coping should be constructive, not destructive. I hope you find your way out of darkness to the light.

When we have a loss or tragedy our mind goes through all the things that should be done, that should get done. That can be quite overwhelming and can paralyze one emotionally etc… With the help of others figure out what absolutely has to be done and what can wait. Focus on what has to be done in the immediate present, what is manageable, and it is important that one gets support from those who will give sound advice, ask the higher power of the universe and within to gravitate those people towards you.

Express what you feel, but please for your own sake and everyone around you do so in a way that is not going to harm you or others. There are various techniques such as writing what you find difficult to verbally express. Scream into a pillow, maybe one long scream, maybe in your bedroom or the bathroom, keeping the door unlocked. Art work that maybe expresses how you feel and for some maybe the culinary arts is a way to defuse tension and anxiety. Keeping things bottled up can lead to a major crisis later, so good to find a positive and creative way if that is best to express how one feels. This includes expressing any anger towards the person who passed away perhaps. I recall an episode of Charmed, not the reboot, when the new sister was introduced after Pru had been killed by a demon. Piper was angry, not expressing it and at one point the new sister tells her it’s okay to hate Pru, to be angry at her and they are transported by their guardian angel to Pru’s grave in the mosoleum and Piper lets it out. Did she really hate her sister, no, but she hated the fact that the eldest sister had died and in a way abandoned her. Even letting God know you are angry, hurt, confused, don’t get it, it’s okay. The main thing is to constructively express it, but not become stuck in it, as some do, such as a certain Montecito prince.

Self care and I understand that when one is in shock, grief it is hard. If you deteriorate, and fall apart how does that help anyone, including kids, family, friends who may be not only dealing with the tragedy of the situation, but also worrying that you are wasting away. Eating, exercising, meditating, praying are important. Maybe you can’t eat a full meal, okay, but if you eat small portions throughout the day and take a walk a few blocks with someone to get air is a good start. To neglect one’s self in such a time of anxiety and stress does no one any good and in the long run there are those who need you to be healthy, be okay. Will it ever be okay that the tragedy happened? No, but neither will it be okay if the person grieving is the next funeral everyone attends. Be sad, be mad, but don’t melt away in the whirlpool of pain.

Memories, don’t shut down any memory of that person. As in any relationship etc… there are mixed memories and some may not be so great. I try to remember the good stuff about those that have passed on, my parents, grandmother, the only grandparent I met. That gives me comfort and as I move forward though later than planned to fulfill my dreams, to build my brand, as I achieve things I look at a photo of my mom, dad and say to them that I hope they are watching over me as I make the remainder of the journey of the rest of my life. Maybe create a scrapbook, something that can be a beautiful reminder of good times, sweet times. Don’t run from the memories, find a way at some point to embrace and celebrate them.

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