Personal Development, Relationships

Without Respect It’s An Oxymoron PI

Love, a gift from the heavens, a grand thing, sets one’s heart on fire. We all long in live to from someone a sincere profound I Love You. Wanting to be loved is a basic human need, as well as belonging. How does one measure respect, what are the visible signs there is respect towards another including ourselves? There are signs.

They actually listen when you are attempting a conversation. If you are trying to have a conversation about something that truly matters to you, or that concerns you, well the person who says they care should be attentive. If they are not paying attention, are dismissive all the time when this happening, well not a good sign. Observe this initially with other people because they are inattentive with close friends, family members, then they will be with you. I am going to throw in a caveat here. I care about my friends, and family,. However if they are telling me for the 30th or 50th time about how lousy their guy is, their boss is etc… and I have given sound advice on how to deal with that, at some point if they do nothing constructive with that advice, I’m gonna tune out. If the person from the first moment you try to discuss anything just ignores or can’t even be bothered, then there’s no respect. If I love you, respect you then I will listen, and if it gets to the point I’ve described, then I need to point out that I have given my perspective and nothing else I can say or do regarding the situation.

The person is responsive to requests. If let’s say I make a request to please help out by taking the kids to school the next morning because I have a medical appointment, you have the time, but find some lame excuse, can’t be bothered, not okay. Part of relationship is helping each other out, out of caring and respect. If I sometimes make a request or vice versa and some lame excuse is always found why you can’t do it or I do that same thing, then not a lot of respect going on. If the person legitimately can’t do it for any number of reasons, ok could happen. If one person or both never have even the inclination to help out, or only want help, but never are willing to give it, that’s not such great energy going on in that relationship.

There is an ability to be playful, and you can even poke healthy fun at each other or yourself. A good sense of humor is a healthy thing. One thing is to make cute jokes that you know the other person fill find funny or are truly playful. It’s another thing to joke in a way that mocks another, or joking about something that is still emotionally raw for that person. That kind of joking around is not playful, not healthy and it shows utter disregard for the other person. When we engage in humor regarding those we care about in particular mocking and cruelty have no place in a relationship.

Remember relationships are like plants, flowers need healthy care, nurturing, not poison added to the ground, to the soil.


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