What Kids Need PII

Safe Haven. Kids especially need to know that home and your arms are a safe haven. The world can be a scary place, a place where there are dark corners and things that go bump in the night. They need to know that home is safe spiritually, emotionally and physically. It is up to the parents, teachers, adults in their lives, especially parents to see to it that they have a safe haven. Park of protecting our young. If that home is not safe and there are red flags, then they should not be ignored by either parent.

Talk With Me. There is a difference between talking to and talking at someone. Talking to someone is a two way street, it’s mutual communication, actually listening, not necessarily agreeing, but seeking mutual understanding. Helping kids understand why boundaries exist, why they are important to self development and safety is crucial. Just telling them what to do and not do, or yelling out orders etc… is not talking, not connecting or bonding. If someone just barks orders at you, how do you feel? Pretty lousy I would assume, so with kids don’t just bark out orders, really talk to them and listen, help their be understanding on both sides.

Hear Me. Part of the problem when we talk at kids or anyone is we don’t hear what they are saying, nor are we able to read between the lines in terms of tone, and such. If we never truly listen, when they say they are fine, but their tone says otherwise we may not pick that up. If they are struggling with who they are we might immediately push them in a gender altering direction rather than help them find the root of why they can’t accept who they are. Hear them, not just the words, but the nuances of the tone, of their facial expression. If one is to guide them in the right direction then really hearing at all levels is important.

Don’t Compare Me. Parents can sometimes have expectations that their kids don’t meet or one kid does the other doesn’t. They may see other kids in the family embody what they want for their kid and their kid to be, but how fair is that. This ties into the talking to and hearing aspect of parenting. Each of us is a fingerprint and no two are alike, not even within families. If your kid has artistic inclinations, you pushing him to be a NASA scientist is not going to work out very well. No two children are exactly alike and within families God gives different personalities and interests to children and that is okay. Granted if the child has interests that might raise eyebrows like playing with fire, you might want to get help on that one. Overall if they have innate gifts, talents, interests rather than berate them, work with them to develop them and exercise them with wisdom. That is part of your journey as a parent, so rejoice in it.