Letting Go Is Never Easy

My dear friend’s dog Peanut I have known and loved since she and her daughter brought him home. This weekend he had a sudden rapid decline, which started with little things that the vet said people often are too little or subtle to really raise a red flag, until the big red flags show up. This past weekend that finally happened with Peanut. Little things we attributed to allergies, to joint issues from jumping off things because he was so small, seemed so fragile, but over the weekend we went from little things to seizure and throwing up Sunday night not being able to walk to seizure with foaming at the mouth Monday morning. Watching him go through that was heartbreaking. We rushed him to the vet Monday morning and a battery of tests were done, his blood sugar, blood pressure were very low, he was not able to control his bowel. At a certain time the doctor told us the prognosis was grim, as he wasn’t responding to any treatment they were trying and after consultation with other Vets with vast experience they determined he was having a pancreatitis attack due very likely to metastasized tumors on his pancreas.

Here is where number one I was truly touched as she and her daughter told the doctor I was his second mom and would be part of any discussions, decision making. When we were told that we could take him to the animal hospital run him through a bunch of tests, potentially put him through surgery was very risky etc..we had a tough decision to make we had to think about whether we were going to put him through all that just to have him with us a bit longer or let him go and let him rest in peace. We chose, even 13 year old Chloe chose to let him go. We had final moments, held his paws, petted him as they put him to sleep, promised him we would see him again. The love, pain, putting his comfort long term above all may not ever be easy, but it is a sign of I guess maturity. If you can think about what is truly best for the other and let go if that is what is the best thing, remember, cherish the time you did have them in your life you can find peace with it. I wrote this poem last night for Peanut, to reflect a core feeling.

Forever With Me

You looked up at me with those baby brown eyes,

Your paws curled and tall wagging,

And any clouds would melt away.

I loved how you would snuggle beside me,

Give me kisses and a sigh.

I know my furry friend that you will be,

Will be forever with me.

You were so content to lie cuddled in my arms,

Asleep so content, not a care in the world,

Cradled like a child.

To me, to those of us who loved you,

You were, and always will be our child.

I know my furry friend that you would be,

Would be forever with me.

Now as we watched you suddenly

Struggle to breathe, to walk those steps,

Those steps you used to walk,

We held our breath,

Hoping all would go back to the way it was.

I know my furry friend that you will be,

Will be forever with me.

We said our goodbyes,

Held you close one more time

As they put you to sleep never to awaken.

The tears would not stop,

Prayer or two was said,

As we whispered “we’ll be together again, I promise”.

I know my furry friend that you will be,

Will be forever with me.