How “Lonely” Can Make One a Target

Companionship is a beautiful thing, and yes everyone has lonely moments, so seeking a partner, a BFF is something I hope to find for myself. I decided why not a dating site for people in my age bracket. There are always risks in any online dating situation or even in going to events created for people to find someone. Let’s face it, we live in a crazy world and we don’t know really who we are communicating with.

I signed on to a dating site and I specified I was looking for a relationship with someone in my area, NYC, but I got communications from outside the area. I decided why not chat and see what happens, so I started texting with them. One of them within three days of texting asked if I could agree to give him my heart, well first of all not realistic, secondly he is in California and I am in NYC. Logistically it would be tough, but to me this is a red flag. Some might say that at the age of 59 I should move quickly in a relationship, but that quickly is a red flag. Three other gentlemen, two in NY are taking the time to really get to know me, my blog etc…and though we have talked about places we each would love to go see in the U.S., any hopes for the future they are really trying to get to know me and me to know them on the dating app site. I would love to have a companion, a best friend to share all that life has to offer, but at the same time one does have to be wary of things not adding up, moving way too fast, especially with online situations. The ones that are not asking right away for my number, but really being themselves safe by communicating for a while via the app I feel a bit more comfortable with than someone who immediately asks for my number. I hope that by the end of next year I will be in a partnership, but I recognize that when I move to my new neighborhood if I want to meet people I have to be involved, have to be part of the community. If I happen to meet someone via this dating app fine, and if I end up with a good friend and artistic collaborator, that’s fine also. Companionship for me is about having someone that is a BFF and activities partner, so I hope I find that and I know I have to be clear with who I am and what I am looking for for that to happen.

As for online dating, keep in mind, if right away they are asking about how you feel about what should be shared like money or anything like that, block them because there are certain topics, discussions that have no place unless you know each other well and are planning a future together. Also be weary if they always find excuses why they can’t call or video chat because even if you are not at a great distance from each other it is a good idea to text for a bit, then video chat for a bit and then meet in person. Please if you do meet, make sure that unless you know each other well, and can trust they are who they say they are you meet in public places, pay attention to your drink, all of that. They can feel that if one is a certain age, alone, no kids etc…that they may be quite lonely and lonely people can be easy targets for predators, particularly financial predators. If lonliness is an issue one can easily fall prey to flattering worlds etc…, so it is not wise to seek companionship in that state of mind, but best to first create a network of solid friendships, a hobby or two and then one won’t be as easily swayed by potential predators.

Namaste