Rediscover My Roots?

I have never doubted that Yeshua was Christ etc.., couldn’t really explain why fully, call it gut instinct after reading,and doing a lot of soul searching. I am grateful for that and for the salvation of the soul that comes from that acceptance of Christ. I am not a fanatic and don’t stand in the street preaching or anything like that. I’d prefer to share my faith through song, poetry and such, as well as personal reflections on biblical themes etc…I can’t picture myself ever renouncing Christ, just can’t. Great, okay that’s settled, but is it?

Having had a genealogist trace my family lineage and finding out the Lanza branch, possibly also the Arbia brance were driven out of Spain due to the King’s decision of Spain being a Jew Free zone and having endured anti-semitic laws and such prior to that makes me very sad. It also brings me to a bit of tug of war with myself. I do not ever want to renounce Christ, or the foundations of the Christian faith, yet I also want to learn all about the heritage of my ancestors, the Sephardic, possibly even Mizrahi side of that lineage. To convert and give up my very strong belief that Yeshua is The Christ, Messiah is not something I can envision doing. I also find that since my DNA shows I am of Aab/Middle Eastern Jewish heritage it pains me that the two sides, the Arab and Jewish side fighting, killing each other. Do I give all my loyalty to Israel? Do I stay neutral and pray, try to influence peace between my two lineages?

There is no easy answer to this and I do in a way feel cheated out of a very rich heritage that I wish to delve into, but without giving up my identity in Christ. I could just watch videos and all that, but it is no the same as actually interacting with that heritage for Shabbat for example, high holidays. I want to connect to that which was stolen from me, my Arab-Jewish heritage my Sephardic, possibly even Mizrahi heritage. As with any journey it is just that a journey with twists and turns and it is the journey that matters the most and that we make it with the utmost ethcs and integrity.

Amen