The Specter
As I sit here fatigued, and with a specter of sadness,
nnnnI wonder as to how I find myself here.
nnnnI wonder as to the various threads that brought me here,
nnnnHere to this place sitting alone, tired,
nnnnThe mind and body, both are tired.
nnnnnnnnAs I sit here fatigued and with a specter of sadness,
nnnnI recall a time when I was alive, vivacious,
nnnnA time when I could walk circles around anyone,
nnnnWhen 100 steps seemed like nothing.
nnnnI wonder if any semblance of that person will ever reappear.
nnnnnnnnYet, as I sit here fatigued, and with a specter of sadness,
nnnnI find peace in my soul, a peace with this specter of sadness,
nnnnAlso the specter of what is fibromyalgia.
nnnnNo, I may not be that person I was once,
nnnnBut I can still be alive, create opportunity,
nnnnOpportunity to smile, even if only for a while.
nnnnnnnnAs I sit here fatigued, and with a specter of sadness,
nnnnMuch of my time alone,
nnnnI realize that it is up to me to find that person,
nnnnThat person I once was.
nnnnSo as I prepare to move to a new abode,
nnnnI remind myself that the only one,
nnnnThe only one who can find that I once was,
nnnnIs me, and so I shall.
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