Raising a Resilient Child

It is important to help build resilience from a young age, so whether it’s teachers, adult family members, parents it is important to build resilience from a young age. How does one do that?

Relationships, helping young people develop really wise, healthy relationships with others, including family is a good step to take. Stronger and healthier one’s relationships the better one will have a support tribe if things do go sour in life. That means that adults need to also have such relationships and be an example of that. Teaching them how to manage disappointments, pain etc…, make it clear there are no entitlements to anything, except for basic respect we should all show each other. Good grades are not an entitlement, certain things have to be earned, should be earned. Anger management is also an important skill, teaching them to manage and navigate anger, sadness, frustration, teaching patience, all crucial. Of course, the adults in their lives should also have the skill to manage emotions. Teaching and practicing mindfulness as a family can be of great benefit, sharing techniques to bring one’s self to a point of calm and clarity is helpful. When it is done as a family, it can really create a beautiful bond.

Solving problems, rather than running from and/or burying them is part of the journey to maturity, so it’s up to the adults in their lives to teach them to think clearly, and make smart decisions, to also be the example of such. Don’t always jump in to give them the answers or solve very dilemma. Start with maybe giving them a choice of breakfast options, if shopping for clothes ask questions to help them pick the best outfits for whatever occasion. Let them know and show them by example that it is okay to ask for help, when they have an issue, a problem it’s ok to ask for help, doesn’t make one weak, but wise. Teach them to discern the right kind of help to get, do the same for yourself. Healthy living, even some light exercise daily, show them and share with them a healthy lifestyle for mind, body and soul.

I think therefore I am is a philosophical quote known by many. In Eden the snake got Adam and Eve thinking about the fruit, the forbidden, to where they would then give into the shadow self. It is easy to get stuck in negative patterns of thought, especially if the family is going through struggles, or there is a divorce going on. It’s important to help kids develop a balance of acknowledging what is going on, but also finding helpful and hopeful solutions, and again navigate those those etc…so they do not get stuck in the dark. Adults need to do that for themselves and show how it is done. Let them take small and reasonable risks, let them fail, it’s part of life’s learning curve. We learn by failing as much as we if succeeding, if not more. If adults including teachers constantly excuse, bail out etc…unacceptable behavior it does more harm than good. You end up with narcissistic, bitter, angry, entitled idiots in society and we see that playing out in front of us, even with some very much in the public eye figures, you know who I am referring to.

Do we raise a generation of strong resilient, non entitled, healthy kids, teens etc.. or the opposite? That is up to the parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers and I hope it is not the opposite.