Types of Boundaries

Boundaries is a crucial part of a healthy relationship, even with yourself and a healthy society. I want to talk about boundaries with self, something I doubt we think of often. What do I mean by boundaries with self?

Let’s start with intellectual boundaries. If you have only negative thoughts etc…thrown at you growing up, through adolescence when you potentially move to bring an aspiring dream to life those negative gremlins will likely surface. That is where boundaries come in and where we might need to do a bit of self talk to let those gremlins know over and over again that they are not welcome and to meditate on discovering what gifts and such we do have. We need to set boundaries with ourselves in terms of not allowing self defeating, self destructive feedback received in the past define who we are and where we are headed. Same with emotional boundaries. When that negative feedback gremlin shows up we must acknowledge that it is there, should not run and pretend that gremlin doesn’t exist. What we should not do is give it power to where we do self sabotage a very viable dream or goal moving forward in life. If we invalidate ourselves as others have done, then we have violated important lines in the sand.

Sexual and physical boundaries are also important, out of self respect, and this doesn’t just mean in regards to others. We need to also respect our own bodies and how we treat ourselves, our sexual life, doing so with the utmost respect, kindness, etc…without of course being self centered narcissists. We need to look at how we treat our physical body in every respect including sexually. Be an example to others of how you should be treated physically and sexually with respect, kindness, wisdom. What of time and material possessions? Again while we do need to fulfill core obligations to work, family, we also have an obligation, without being narcissistic, to also give ourselves time to do what we find brings us peace, joy, fulfillment, personal and spiritual growth. Creating balance to honor boundaries with self is crucial. Same with money. Are you putting yourself in poorhouse debt just to keep up with the neighbors or other family members? What material boundaries are you crossing that hurt you in the end? I know I have made choices that I now realize violated my boundaries. Even when helping others we care about we still need to care for self and set boundaries.

A life without boundaries is like a home without doors that keep order and keep out chaos. I hope this chart and the free meditations we provide will help you determine and put forth boundaries not only with others, but also with self.