Teens and Life Lessons
The teen years are a landmine at times, and yet, there are lessons that teens need to learn from the adults in the room. What do we need to teach teens so they can then navigate this world of ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups?
Bad attitude won’t get fuel, so when they start a tantrum, acknowledging that they feel what they feel calmly is a plus, but if you get into screaming matches all you do is show they can push your buttons, and wear you down till you agree just to stop the fighting. Remember you are the parent, not the other way around and if they are going to respect you as a parent then you need to show you can’t be manipulated or coerced. Tantrums won’t get them anywhere later on in life, just the opposite.
Life is tough at times and it can sucker punch you, so you have to have really good problem solving skills to navigate that. It’s important to allow them to sometimes have disappointments, and not get everything they want when they want because in the hard truth of life out there you don’t get everything you want when you want it etc…They need to understand that and not fall apart or do anything idiotic when it does happen, the let down.
Mistakes are part of growing and learning, so they need to know that making an honest mistakes here and there is not the end of the world, that there are solutions to pretty much any dilemmas. Are the solutions always pleasant, fun etc…? No, but if they learn from family that mistakes are part of growth, not talking consistent bad choices, but once in a while miscalculating a decision and they can talk to parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles about stuff it makes moving through junk easier and safer.
Remember that your words, eye rolls and body language gets registered and seared into their mind, heart, soul. It’s important to use the right words, tone etc… to convey that a better choice could have been made and help them to see why that it. Letting them know that giving it your all makes you a winner in their eyes, they are winners for doing their best. Letting them know that it’s okay to say no, to draw lines in the sand, that bullies are really scared little kids who can only feel important by hurting others and that is a sad commentary on their lives. Words of wisdom shared will penetrate, just keep sharing them.
Teen years are a weird time for everyone, including the teens.